Silenced Vows
by CrossGeneration
Summary: Commander Erwin and Corporal Levi were never always commander Erwin and Corporal Levi. There had been a time where they had simple been two young teens in a cruel world. Mentions of the past, and romance if you squint hard enough. E.B. out


Sorry if I seem inexperienced, guys... I didn't read the manga and only watched the anime so I AM a bit behind... Or maybe a lot. WARNINGS FOR OOC-NESS. Anyways, thanks. This is my first Shingeki no Kyojin fanfiction so... =^u^=

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Commander Levi, although rumored to be invincible from the beginning of history against the dreadful titans (exaggeration is never an option), was never _always_ Commander Levi. There had been rough times in the man's past- dark, dark times where it seemed like a hellhole. Before his league of supposed invincibility and fame, the Underground seemed to be the most of his world. Using his wits and physical abilities, jobs that were most of the times not so pleasant, were done with. Enough money was earned to get by, and he did receive his share from the Underground (or whoever ran it).

Then enter Commander Erwin. Tall, neat, and with a strong sense of morals who worked for the government, Levi knew that this man was a somebody; the blonde commander was a person that was respected and in charge, someone who was also in the battlefront lines. Then the Underground was caught. Levi thought that he was going to die a death of no honor, a death that would do nothing to improve his already ground-rated position in the game called life. But the blonde proved him wrong.

Erwin had seen his power, his skills, his potential, and raised it up to be the best. Their encounter was rocky and sarcastic and supposedly all politics, but Levi would be lying to say that he didn't see the strong savior; Erwin himself would be false in claiming that the lithe, flexible figure (both physically and mentally) didn't attract him.

So the two men, inexperienced in love, hit it off. Their passionate cries for each other and shared looks and deep understanding bound them together like nothing ever had in their lives. Both could perish the next day, death was an regular guest in their house. They wanted to make it work out, between all the Titans and the blood and the death and the fighting and the crappy government and the work to be done. And it did. For a while.

So when Erwin and Levi were promoted to high-ranking positions, they tried their best. They tried their hardest and still, fate proved it to be not enough. They broke it off with a mutual agreement. Life was too demanding, so love had to be excused. It was part of the job.

EXLXEXLXEXLXEXLXEXLXEXL

It was one of the most joyous meetings ever to be held in Erwin's lead. This was a successful mission and the next seemed to be an eternity away. It was relatively short and there were jokes thrown across the table; it's occupants even swore that they say their blonde leader smile, for once.

"Dismissed." At the blonde's nod, the group dispersed, with euphoric expressions on their faces.

"Ne, Erwin," Hange grinned at him from the doorway, "come have a drink with us. It's gonna be a while 'till the next expedition."

Several others left, chatting excitedly. "Sorry, but I have some work to do. Maybe some other time." The 'if we do have another time' hung in the air, as present as the spoken words, but neither said anything. The scientists merely clicked her tongue in disappointment and walked out with the others. Well, all but one. Their happy remembrance of childhood memories reached the last two in the room, and a pang of nostalgia hit the commander's chest. Levi walked up to him, as if cautiously approaching a wild animal that might attack any second without a warning. It was a good way to approach Erwin.

"This previous mission was a success."

"Four died. Four." The blonde allowed a rare bit of grief settle into his tone. He didn't know what the shorter male was thinking; the mission was to drop supplies off at a small haven for Survey Corps members outside of the walls. It should not have involved any deaths. He, not knowing what to do, continued to emphasize the number and point the accusing finger to himself. "Four. People. Survey corps members. Just for supplies," the commander repeated. His life seemed to be a mantra of death and repeated, failed missions.

"Well, it was better than any more. And we encountered three Abberants. Who know that they would attack at the same time? But for the sake of humanity? No. The only reason why we've lost so little compared to the years past is because we have a capable leader. One who could make rational decisions."

The sentimental speech reached Erwin and the blonde put a hand on Levi's own, as the dark-haired Ackerman comfortingly put his hand on the taller male's shoulder. The weight was familiar and the blonde wished for something more, something that he use to have.

"I know this is practically impossible but..." he hesitated, an action that Levi had never seen the blonde do in his lifetime. Not like this, anyways. "But do you think that the relationship- our- can ever..." His voice once again trailed off the proper track but he understood.

Levi always understood. He too only could recall the past years too clearly for his liking, the day of their fateful meeting, when he could finally get rid of the annoying Underground organization from his to-do list. As soon as their met, their futures were uncertain, death so prominent and demanding that fool's love had taken them captive. But that was before the two had filled two very powerful positions: as humanity's leaders.

"Well," the corporeal started, "you know the crappy expression 'married to your job'." With a sigh, the blonde let go, suppressing another, closer embrace.

"You're right. It's too late." Levi smiled gently, an expression that Erwin had missed so much, something that was so rare these days.

"It's not all lost. We''re good comrades."

"Allies."

"Companions."

"Friends." The blonde held out a hand and the black-haired male nodded, shaking it with his own. It was a silent deal that they made: to be forever together, but not bound to each other.

Levi walked briskly out of the room and all hints of the past conversation were gone. Only a glint in his eye that screamed 'survival'. From now it would only be them against the world. The tall blonde leader stood in his place, on top, and felt the burden of all the responsibilities that came with it.

But for now, he was lost in the past and the wishes that he often hoped for: in his crumpled hand held a piece of cut cloth, the double swords crossing in the middle of the blade. On the back of the patch read: "Levi Ackerman" in neat, cramped handwriting. Erwin clutched it to his chest in his right hand, the army salute a second nature to him by now. Indeed it had become his life. The fading colors of the sunset from the window cast a warm yet eerie shadow on his straight figure. The promise itself was uncertain, but a promise was a promise.

'Till my dying breath.'


End file.
